miercuri, 18 decembrie 2013

suenas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eWj3SNJ52U

miercuri, 11 decembrie 2013

Love is .... not retarded!

I often thought love is retarded. But it's not. Sometimes just grows on retarded pieces and those retarded pieces make you act retarded sometimes.

Love is when you exercise loving someone without reasons and despite its flaws.  without benefits and beyond prejudice.

Rather weird to talk about love on this blog since I never loved (nor could ever) the person made me create it. No doubt I was in love extremely strong. They not the same. For instance when I love i want to carry the story of that love till the last seconds of my life on my body. Eternally. Hence my Chinese tat on my back and the wedding ring on my finger. 2 tattoos 2 loves. Plus when I love i never dies, I never stopped loving them, love only transformed. It is not romantic anymore for neither S or A, but the affection will never die on me. Getting a tat inspired by feeling i had for C is so illogical and ridiculous never crossed my mind till now. I would never do such, would be self desecration of my body, instead of a forever body jewelry of a story meant the world for me.

The reason i explained love to me is that i want to apply it upon the person which i was in love it. despite the fact that i don't love him. despite the fact i will not ever respect him. when i love i wouldn't say to the loved person "are you retarded?". my first instinct when an email was answered was to reply with the question "are you retarded?" rhetorically. Why would you write me in English if English it's not your mother language and you are not addressing to a foreigner . I didn't reply to the email and good for me. Doesn't mean I don't still think it's retarded, but I applied the principles of love and I didn't offend. Now I am not saying i think he is retarded, but very often his way of doing things is extrem,ly retarded. Love is kind. I wouldn't say also things I truly believe and I did actually say like"Your good lucking take care of that as you are not very bright." He is not actually lol, besides some general culture info a monkey could reproduce or a trained parrot he lacks creativity, sense of humor(rare event when one of his jokes made me laugh, sometimes when he made jokes i was staring in his eyes thinking oh my God, he is so stupid. or he is so beautiful until he opens his mouth), willingness (very lazy person and a perpetual underachiever), lack of tact(this person have the diplomatic skills of a buffalo. delicacy is displayed by him only when he closes himself and stays silent.).

Saying all these things to him is pointless. And rude. Indulging his presence  into my writing or the feelings I had is an act of stupidity on my part. This feeling was always better without him even if it was  meant for him.  You're excused (actually thank you for not participating even passive), now you have plenty  time to write more retarded emails in English.

miercuri, 4 decembrie 2013

o papadie

might have been a   tiny bit bitchy in my last text. i know the kid understood i never respected him bla bla bla. oh well i am such a bitch in such level i now how to stir, what button to push. dun mean that  i wasnt real about tales  of love and bla bla with the kid. it's just i was a bitch before he was my kid. he knows that still love him and if he found a girl making me happy me wishinn him, truly  desire to be happy, and to share his space with a lady. self centered prick you do that. (i  am allowed to say some words as i find out that one's bday is a card to use however u can say fuck off, thank you,blabla)
so fck you  n love you

Beauty song, beauty lyrics

had to share something in this corner in such a beauty day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7C2s1WHqsQ&feature=youtu.be

luni, 2 decembrie 2013

Selfless

As I just mentioned  on my other blog how i see that true feelings are selfless, therefore real and pure. Why do I feel what I feel? Because I've chosen you. won't be able to name the particular moment even if when i measure timing  with switz clock precision. you never met the calculated cold blooded viper in me( i was that only with people trying to buy me off, me taking everything, giving nothing). hey yet again I never intended you too know that person. BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, if you would have been more or less towards me wouldn't have meant a damn thing, simply you have no merit of what my feelings raised to be. i was born with values that hardly exists as loyalty, faithful, pure love, etc

u know the word don't hate the player hate the game. well i am not that vain to say i invented it, but damn straight I mastered it before you. Believe me i knew the rules before you and applied them before you endless times: talk of you little, feel less, whatever u start feel, display nothing. bla bla bla.

Feelings I have for you were beautiful, pure and above all loyal. were never submitted by any repay.  however doesn't make u worthy. i do not respect you, never did to be frank, i could not ever taken you seriously. never will for that matter.i respected more ur roommate even if i thk i saw his twice by the fact that he offered me a ride when he saw me upset exiting ur place (was a gent not to insist,  i tend to resent people which catch me in a vulnerable moment) and well cause his was a job which means something. not that wannabe job, a similar with mine in which i supplied a backup for like 2-3 persons constantly and i still arrived late and left early.

if you are not worthy you are not contemned either. doesn't mean my inlove was less is that i was built with some values no longer applicable , but not sucker enough to surrender to all by default. looking backwards to you i will see always something i've given, blindly, like a charity case, nothing shared, nothing asked, nothing received, just a selfless act of my kindness. i must conclude by saying i wish you well! i do, not you related!